Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know how the story ends. The Golden State Killer is arrested and Michelle McNamara, who spent nearly a decade trying to identify him, doesn’t live to see it. The story isn’t about the ending, although it is profound and deeply moving. The story is about how many people had to lay their trauma raw to see a killer brought to justice.
I’ve heard it said that an interest in True Crime is much like rubbernecking. Someone had to experience the worst we can imagine (murder, rape, the loss of a loved one) for our entertainment. And I’m sure there are those that enjoy the genre just for the pure shock and gore of it. But I like to believe my fellow Murderinos have so much more empathy than that.
True Crime fans resonate with stories. And many of those stories are of trauma. Traumas that people have been brave enough to share with us. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark shares these tough stories better than any docuseries I’ve seen.
First, it starts with Patton Oswald and his bravery sharing the sudden loss of his wife Michelle. He allows the film makers access to intimate parts of his life with real life texts, voice messages, videos. Even the 911 call the morning of Michelle’s death is shared. All this comes together to bring Michelle to life. Her voice is so present in the episodes it’s easy to forget she wasn’t a part of the making of the series. As such, when the timeline builds to the day she dies, it hits us so much harder when she’s gone.
Next, there are the survivors bravely sharing the details of their horrific attacks by the Golden State Killer. These attacks happened in the 1970s, when sexual assault was not discussed the way it is today. Many of these survivors share that they weren’t able to talk about what happened to them with their friends or family members, but they share with us now. One couple (Gay and Bob Hardwick) share how they were attacked together. Bob was tied up with dishes on his back while his then girlfriend Gay was assaulted in the other room. In a later episode, Bob remarks that they are the only couple that stayed together after their attack.
And then there were the family members of those that didn’t survive, who suffered unimaginable loss at the hands of the killer. Over forty years later you can still see that this trauma still effects them daily.
Those who worked on the case share with us how it has haunted them for decades. Their determination to find the perpetrator has consumed their lives. Some were citizen detectives much like Michelle who couldn’t separate themselves from the pursuit. Others had retired and couldn’t stop thinking about the one that got away.
Lastly there are Michelle’s friends and colleagues Billy Jensen, Paul Holes, Paul Haynes and more, many of whom had come to love her through this common goal of finding The Golden State Killer. They worked side by side in her life and after her passing carried on her legacy. They shared how their grief lead them to be more determined than ever to catch the killer. Paul Holes continued his tireless efforts to find a DNA match and Paul Hayes and Billy Jensen picked up Michelle’s book to make sure that her life’s work was completed.
The survivors and everyone touched by this case and by Michelle open up about their hurt and grief in a way we can resonate with, showing us that the traumas we have experienced in our lives are valid. That there are people going through something similar and they can relate. There are people who have gone through worse and have survived. We are not alone.
